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Dog with Two Bones

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Farscape episode
“Dog with Two Bones”
Episode no. Season 3
Episode 22
Guest star(s) Tammy MacIntosh (Jool); Melissa Jaffer (Old woman); Kent McCord (Jack Crichton)
Writer(s) David Kemper
Director Andrew Prowse
Production no. 10322
Original airdate April 26, 2002 (US); January 31, 2002 (UK)
Episode chronology
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"Into the Lion's Den - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing" "Crichton Kicks"; "A Many-Splendor'd Thing"

The crew attempt to bury Talyn, while Crichton has visions of what could be, which lead him to a pivotal choice...


John is in a dress shop, and Aeryn walks down a catwalk in a white wedding dress, saying it doesn't work. John says it works all right, just not for the wedding. Aeryn then models another more sensual, somewhat more 'low-cut' dress, and this time John perks up and says that if she wears this, somebody's definitely going to marry her. Cut away back to John, who is still writing equations all over his hands (he was having a subconscious vision before). Chiana is with him, and says that his world can't be that hard to adjust to – he just needs to ask her. An old lady interrupts, offering them food. They stay silent, and she says perhaps Aeryn wouldn't have liked his planet anyway. Back in the dress store (another vision), John hands over his credit card and tells Aeryn to do it. She is reluctant, but tries to ask the lady behind the counter to "charge it". John has to take over when the lady doesn't understand her, and Aeryn frustrated and embarrassed that no one ever understands her English, utters "this whole frellin' planet needs translator microbes". John tries to comfort and encourage her that she's doin' fine, as half the time no one even understands him. Cut to Chiana as she asks the old woman why she didn't leave with the others, and John asks, "Who is that woman?", Chiana tells him she thought she was with him. Out of the window, John spots another Leviathan, and Pilot tells him they've arrived at the Leviathan sacred burial place.

Aeryn helps Ka D'Argo pack stuff onto his ship, asking how much he's taking, and telling him he could re-supply during the journey. D'Argo says that revenge is a feast best served immediately, and she says he'll get himself killed. Rygel says that they all will, but at least they can do it on their home planets. D'Argo says he can't believe Crais sacrificed himself to destroy the Command carrier, and Aeryn laments Talyn's death.

Chiana asks John what he'll do when they've buried Talyn, and he replies that he'll carry on working on wormholes. Suddenly Chiana shudders with a vision, just as Pilot tells everyone to brace for collision, for the other Leviathan is charging Moya.

The other Leviathan hasn't moved away, and Moya is somewhat damaged. Pilot says that Moya's neural cortex is impossible to target so successfully unless by another Leviathan, this was no accident on the other Leviathan's part. Apparently, its actions have something to do with Talyn. Rygel complains and asks who the frell the old woman is, when we see another vision with Aeryn throwing her bouquet at their wedding. Rygel is hovering by the cake, when John is snapped out of it by the real Rygel telling him to pay attention, as this is serious. John tells him that the plan to fix Moya is good. In another vision, a euphoric D'Argo is with two girls, one on each arm, and congratulates Aeryn and John, joking that tonight John is the second luckiest man in the universe. Back in reality, Pilot tells everyone that the rogue Leviathan has three offspring which were all were killed by the Peacekeepers. She will not let Talyn, a part/half Peacekeeper, be buried here. Pilot has yet to hear from the other Pilot, but keeps trying.

Jool is with Aeryn, working on her Prowler, and asks when they get out of this if she's still planning to look for a ex-Peacekeeper unit. Aeryn doesn't answer, and Jool remarks that they assassinate people, to which Aeryn says they protect people against things like terrorism. Jool wants to give her some advice, but Aeryn says she's not tied to John in any way. Jool adds that in the short time she's know Aeryn, she's changed so much, and she shouldn't now go backwards again – assassinating people seems like going backwards. Aeryn asks Jool to melt something, when she answers "with what, there's no power yet", Aeryn pulls her hair to make her scream, which quickly melts the metal.

Chiana tells John that it looks like Moya will be okay. She says that what she said about not wanting him to go with her wasn't exactly so, but he says it's cool not to worry. He has a vision of her in a hotel room, dressed up all sexy, flirting with him, writhing on the bed. Non-vision, Chiana says that she'd love him to go with her, but he'd look so much like a Peacekeeper - not a good thing for what she plans to do. The old woman/Noranti then offers to talk to the other Leviathan for them as a negotiator. Chiana tells her to stick to cooking, and for John to deal with her. John gets up and walks towards her, but she suddenly blows some herbs in his face, and he shouts that he can't see. She tells him to go to the truth; ignore it and risk all. She whispers something in his ear, as he sees Aeryn as his bride, but then he sees chefs/waiters at the wedding getting shot, causing him to start shooting back but in reality. D'Argo comes in just escaping being shot and tongues him, asking the Noranti what she did. She says perhaps a slight misjudgement of his weight, and D'Argo knocks her out. Pilot tells D'Argo and Aeryn that the rogue Leviathan starved her Pilot to death, and is threatening to attack again if they don't take Talyn's remains and leave. Rygel says that they should go, and with Moya injured, Aeryn agrees, but Pilot insists that Moya will not go because Talyn deserves to be buried there.

Back in John's vision, he is listening to Aeryn and his dad talking, and she tells Jack that she's miserable here and John just doesn't see it, and she wonders when he's going to wake up. He says he is awake, and in reality Aeryn pulls him up. She tells John that Moya can't beat the rogue, but they can't convince Moya to leave, so Rygel and Chiana are trying to convince her. The old woman, now tied up, again offers to help, but John again asks who she is.

Chiana tells Moya that everyone is concerned about her plan, and that she once asked Zhaan how she got along so well with Moya. Zhaan told her by being honest, no matter what. Chiana says that she thinks Moya should bury Talyn wherever she wants, and the other Leviathan should get out of their way.

John sees a vision of Chiana (still on the bed), and asks her what all her stuff is. She tells him that she went shopping - "well, shoplifting", and that she got to know the boys a little better earlier. John asks why she has to sleep with all his friends, and she just continues to flirt with him, complaining Earth is just too repressed, when Jack comes in. She runs up to him and kisses him, Jack hugging her just shrugs telling a disapproving John, "well, your mother has been gone for such a long time", prompting John to say that this is still not right.

Back in reality D'Argo says that he disagrees, and Chiana has a point. His ship has enough firepower to destroy the rogue. John doesn't think that Moya will let them actually kill one of her species, when Pilot tells them that Moya is not the first to be attacked by the rogue – three other Leviathans have been killed and even more injured. It is now clear that the rogue Leviathan has gone insane and Moya begins to defend herself on her own. Pilot says that Moya understands the grief of losing a child, but has decided that this Leviathan's behavior is unacceptable... therefore, Moya asks the crew to kill the rogue.

D'Argo's ship and Aeryn's Prowler are prepared to take on the rogue Leviathan. John tells Jool to be there for Chiana, since she helped deliver Talyn, so shouldn't have to bury him alone. D'Argo tells Aeryn not to make any errors, but Aeryn says she doesn't make errors. Jool goes up to D'Argo and asks if he's OK with killing another living being, to which he just hisses through his teeth. John tells Aeryn to be careful, but she replies that she doesn't have to fly with D'Argo. D'Argo, John and Aeryn leave Moya as she enters the sacred area with the rogue following to attack. D'Argo tells John to keep the ship steady so he can shoot. Aeryn says that the other Leviathan is bigger than Moya, so the best she can do is annoy it.

John has another vision, and tells D'Argo that he knows it's hard for him as everyone thinks he's a freak, prompting D'Argo to say hi to two kids nearby fishing, who reply they don't think he's a freak. The vision intersperses with a real-time conversation in D'Argo's ship, as John tells him not to kill Macton. In the vision, D'Argo says that all he wants is revenge, and says he's sorry that Aeryn is going to leave him, but not to take it out on him. In reality, John says it's not just Aeryn; they're all leaving. D'Argo tells him not to begrudge them their dreams, but John replies that it's some dream – killing a man. D'Argo says that he should go straight to Earth, but John says he can't – the Peacekeepers would follow. He and D'Argo continue to argue, both in the vision and on the ship.

Moya dispatches Talyn's remains, as a weeping Chiana attempts to say some final words but is too grief-stricken to do so. As Jool holds her, Rygel takes over and gives Talyn a fitting eulogy – he, a joy to his mother, and a credit to both his species. The rogue starts to charge at the remains intending to disperse them, so Aeryn launches an attack, shooting the rogue with the Prowler's weapons. This works, and the rogue leaves the remains and chases Aeryn into position where D'Argo can fire upon her. When the rogue is right in front, D'Argo's ship fires a shot that completely envelops the rogue Levithan before completely disintegrating her. Jool asks if they got her, and Aeryn says that she's gone, completely - they stare in awe at the power of the destruction - nothing at all remains. Rygel cheers that this means they're finally done; they're all unhurt, healthy, no one's trying to kill them – and they can all finally go home.

With the danger over, John visits the old woman and asks who she is. She says it doesn't matter, but she knows who he is – she was a prisoner of the Peacekeepers, and he made them come back and rescue her escape pod after the command carrier imploded. So when the others got off, she stayed to repay her debt. John asks what she did to him, and she says that we all lie, but the lies that spew out do much less damage than the lies that stay hidden. Crichton unties her restraints and sets her free. He says that back on Earth when he was a kid, he would always dream of outer space. Yet now that he's here, all he dreams of is Earth, but lately none of his dreams work. Her herbs stripped away the lies, but he ran from it, and he's so tired of running. He asks her to show him again. She again blows something in his face.

He sees himself putting the ring on Aeryn's finger, then the two of them happily dancing at the wedding reception, as in reality he is performing the dance with the old woman. Again, she is seen whispering in his ear. Jack then cuts in to dance with Aeryn. Next, everyone is seated and all of Crichton's friends from Moya are in attendance (even Pilot), clapping as John and Aeryn kiss. Jack proposes a toast to his son and his new daughter, the new Mr. and Mrs. Crichton, when he's suddenly shot in the head. John pulls his gun out in reality, but the old woman makes him see the truth and confront his fear. The reception is stormed by Peacekeeper troops, who one by one shoot all the guests - Pilot, Rygel, D'Argo, Chiana, Jool and then Aeryn are all killed. In the middle of the reception room a model of Moya is blown to pieces, as well as the wedding cake. After the chaos, the majority of the guests are all lying dead. As John hovers in panic over a bleeding Aeryn, she says not to worry about her – "she's never felt better", before she dies in his arms. John is devastated and cries out for her, when Scorpius comes in and kneels down next to him asking him the obvious question ... "what did you expect?". Returning to reality, John tells the old woman it's a nightmare – his life, his dreams. Earth and his friends – they're the two things that are most important to him, however he has tried to merge the two but they're incompatible. He can't go to Earth, and his friends are all leaving – he's a dog with two bones. The old woman is confused, so John tells her the fable of a dog and it's beloved bone and how, while at a river, it tried to steal an identical bone from an identical dog, not realizing that it was looking at own reflection in the water. The dog opened its mouth, dropped its bone into the water and lost it forever. Crichton is like the dog, in that he tried to keep his friends on Moya as well as his dream of returning to Earth... like the dog, by trying to take too much he's ended up with nothing. The old woman asks if a dog is smart enough to learn; if it could have had only one bone, which would it have wanted.

John goes to the maintenance bay, where Aeryn is packing. He says that he's going with her; she's not leaving without him. She asks him what he wants; John says her. She tells him that it's not that easy for her – he died, she watched it, but he's still alive, she has to go. He tells her to say goodbye, but she says they don't say goodbye. John tells her that they do this time; if she goes, then comes back, he couldn't handle the in between again. He says to say goodbye, so she says "Goodbye Crichton", and walks off in anguish. John grabs her, and says that his name is John; say it to his face. She pushes him and tells him to guarantee that he won't die in her arms again, so he pushes back and tells her to guarantee she won't die in his, to which she replies that she can, by leaving. He asks if she loves John Crichton, not the other, not him, but John Crichton. She says yes, and though she wishes to resist, they eventually kiss. He asks what it tastes like, and she tells him "yesterday". He sighs and says that no one could compete with that; he is so much better dead. She tells him that she can't do this again. He tells her that he can't let the one thing he loves fly away in a crappy little ship. Aeryn replies that if the fates meant them to be together, then they'll meet again. John replies that if it's up to the fates, then he'll toss a coin. She tells him to just make a frellin' wormhole and go home. John replies that there is no home, there's only her. She says that it's too late for her, and he tells her that if she does this they'll never see each other again. She asks if he loves Aeryn Sun, to which he says "beyond hope", and she says then don't make her say goodbye and don't make her stay. He walks away, and she kicks the pile of metal cases at her feet. John, hearing the commotion, stops and turns back, and they look across the room at each other. She kicks the fallen coin to him, and they walk towards each other (in slow-motion). As John tosses the coin, the picture freezes coin mid-air, and we fade to black.

Later John is in his module, near Moya, miserable. One by one, he hears (and sees snippets of) the others saying their goodbyes. D'Argo says that anything positive he will do will be because of John, his friend. Chiana tells him never to forget her, or that she loves him. Rygel says that of all the lesser species, he's grown to like his the best. The view pans around, where we see Aeryn in the Prowler. John remembers her saying that they're in the hands of fate now, they have to trust in that. Aeryn begins to cry, and tells John to fly safe, followed by "Goodbye, John Crichton", before her Prowler fades into the distance.

Jool calls John and asks if he's alive, or out of fuel. He says that he's nearly out, and he's heading back to Moya. Harvey appears hovering over his shoulder, saying that the human subconscious is a fascinating place: malleable, permeable, fallible. He asks John to guess what he found there, but John tells him to go away as he doesn't feel like talking right now. Harvey says that he'll honor John's wishes, but having chosen their partnership above all else, John's well-being is now irrevocably his own. He says "my gift", and John hears again the old woman whispering what she had before. She tells him to be forgiving, be kind; her life, her world, on her time - he will know, "Aeryn is with child!" John screams for "old woman" (who is still on Moya), and tells Pilot to put him through to Aeryn. She is out of range, so he tells Pilot to go after her, but Jool objects. The old woman grabs her, about to bite her ear, and says for Pilot to do as John says. John begs please, and Pilot says he'll attempt to plot Aeryn's course and they'll leave as soon as he returns, when suddenly a wormhole opens just behind Moya, and sucks her in! John incredulous says, "you have got to be kidding me", as the camera pans out to show him stranded, out of fuel and utterly alone in space...

To Be Continued...

Memorable quotesEdit

John: Do you love John Crichton? Not him. Not me. John Crichton?
Aeryn: Yes
Aeryn: Do you love Aeryn Sun?
John: Beyond hope.
Aeryn: Then don't make me say good-bye and don't make me stay.
(Aeryn and John kiss)
John: Now what does that taste like?
Aeryn: Yesterday.
John: Heh, well, nobody can compete with that. I am so much better dead.
Harvey: The human subconscious is a fascinating place. Malleable, permeable... fallible.
(D'Argo is leading a conga line at John and Aeryn's wedding reception)
D'Argo: Now I'm a mime conga! Now I'm a mountain-climbing conga! I'm in the mountains!
(From deleted scene included in the DVD release)

Background informationEdit

  • Stark and Crais do not appear in this episode. Scorpius appears only in John's vision.
  • Discounting flashbacks, this is the fifth episode in which Kent McCord appears as a "fake/imagined" version of Jack Crichton.
  • Executive producer David Kemper is hiding under the table during the breakfast speeches. He was talking to Ben Browder and Claudia Black when the director yelled "action" and had nowhere to go. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • Melissa Jaffer makes her first appearance here as Noranti, the old woman - though her character would not be given a name until the third episode of the next / 4th season.
  • The script page that revealed Aeryn's pregnancy was only give to the cast members and crew who required it. All of the others stated that the revelation was "Aeryn really loves you." ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • The centerpiece at the wedding is Moya. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • Aeryn's wedding dress is the same worn by Princess Katralla in the "Look At The Princess" episodes, Crichton's other marriage. Claudia Black found it in the wardrobe department and suggested it to Andrew Prowse. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • Crewmembers from every department helped move the Pilot puppet up two flights of stairs to the location of the wedding breakfast. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • The entire comic sequence of Aeryn trying on dresses had to be cut down due to time considerations. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • The scene where Aeryn tells Jack her fears for the future was filmed in the dining room of the hotel where the wedding breakfast was shot. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • The idea of the coin flip was suggested by Claudia Black during discussions with Ben Browder, David Kemper, and Andrew Prowse. ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • Aeryn's dying line "I've never felt better" is a deliberate echo of the other Crichton's death scene in "Infinite Possibilities - Icarus Abides". ("Cool Farscape Facts" - Starburst Edition DVD v3.3)
  • This episode features several deleted scenes including ones establishing the elderly Leviathan Elack and the location of an Interion colony which interests Jool. Other deleted scenes originate from John's vision and include Pilot working in a circus after being fired from MIT, Aeryn shooting a lorry in a crosswalk, Rygel hiring strippers for Crichton's bachelor party, and a sequence in which D'Argo leads a conga line at the wedding reception.

Links and referencesEdit


Guest starsEdit

Guest castEdit


Voice artistsEdit


air conditioning; BBQ; Betty Crocker; Bosnia; command carrier; Crais, Bialar; credit card; Crichton, Leslie; dog; Earth; English; fahrbot; Farscape-1; frell; frellnik; hamman; Harvey; Leviathan; lifepod; Lo'La; Luxan; Luxan tongue sting; maintenance bay; microt; Moya; Nerri; neural cortex; Peacekeepers; Pilot; Pip; prowler; pulse pistol; Qualta Blade; Rogue Leviathan; Scorpius; slijnot; Sparky; swimming pool; Tal, Macton; Talyn; tralk; translator microbe; wedding; wormhole; wormhole technology; Yirga fungal chowder; yotz; Zhaan, Zotoh

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